Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God
“And Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart.” Luke 2:19
“You can ask about it, but nobody knows the way; no breadcrumb trail to follow through your days… It’s a matter of getting deeper in, any way you can.” All This Beauty by the Weepies
If you’ve done much snowshoeing or cross-country skiing, you know that the most challenging thing you can do is break trail – that is, to go where no one else has yet gone and make your own trail in the snow. It requires a lot of energy, and you will tire quickly if you don’t pace yourself. Once trail is broken, it’s much easier to go back the way you came, or to use the trail you just made the next day. Breaking trail, however, is serious work.
Our lives, for the most part, are organized around daily schedules, patterns and rituals. Some of these were given to us; others we have worked out on our own. Unexpected things always happen, of course. Yet the daily schedules and expectations that go along with our job or vocation or place in life usually keep us moving in a certain direction. We usually are invited to discern the presence of the Lord in our daily routines and patterns. God is in the ordinary as well as the extraordinary.
Then it happens. This sense begins to arise in our hearts that the Lord is beckoning us to break trail – to make some unexpected change in our life and start making our own trail through the snow. For some people, this unexpected twist remains within their overall vocation. For others, the twist is their vocation in its fulness. Here’s the core of the challenge: we know we must begin this new trail, but we don’t really know where we are going or what obstacles will lie on our path. We don’t know what gifts will come our way because we have chosen this path. We are given no GPS route, neatly displayed on our smartphone screens. No breadcrumb trail to follow. It is simply a “Yes” to the Lord, a “Yes” in faith, a faith that is secure that this is the way, though our minds see it vaguely at best. A faith that is willing to let the Lord lead us in the dance and to follow the Lord’s lead.
Many people have been called upon to break trail in the past. There was Abraham, at an age when everyone assumed his life was over – but his journey of faith was about to begin in a stunning act of trust. There is Mary, given the singular, overwhelming, incomprehensible calling to be the mother of the Messiah. Talk about breaking trail! Luke portrays her, over and over again, as “keeping all these things, reflecting on them in her heart”. She has already committed herself fully to the Lord. Now she is constantly taking the time to reflect and discern how this or that event is a part of God’s calling to her and what it all means. There was Saul of Tarsus, an ardent foe of the Christians, who finds himself called by Christ to become an apostle to the nations of this very faith he sought to destroy. So many saints were called upon to make some significant change in their lives and break trail for Christ.
Then it happened to me. Over ten years ago, I began to discern an invitation from the Lord to live a life of greater solitude and contemplative prayer. Eventually, I understood this to be an invitation to the hermit life. Even though I have always felt attracted to solitude, I initially resisted. All my life, it seemed, I had been hearing about the declining number of diocesan priests and the need for more priests in parish ministry. How could I break this new trail? Moreover, it’s not every day that a diocesan priest becomes a hermit! Not only that, there was a factor I didn’t fully understand at the time. Having Asperger’s Syndrome (which I only learned later), I would have been naturally very resistant to any change in my routine. Yet, after prayer and with the help of a few good friends, I finally gave the Lord my “Yes”.
Another thing to know about us “Aspies”: when we’re in, we’re ALL in. I was now committed. Once I said yes, things seemed to come together in surprising ways – one indication that my discernment was true. Still, it was breaking trail. Some people have been very supportive; a few don’t really get it; a couple have said a few hurtful things. But I’m committed. I try to follow where the Lord leads – even if I’m lead by new or unusual paths. I have a little experience at breaking trail now. No, it’s not always easy. In fact, it can be a serious test every now and then. But it seems to be the path that the Lord has set me on. Onward, then.
If you sense yourself being led by the Lord to do a little trail-breaking in your own life, don’t let fears or anxieties turn you aside. Trust that the One who calls you is not only at the end of the trail, but is right there with you through every step, even as you feel tired and your muscles begin to ache. You will be shown beauty that you could not have discovered any other way. You will find a peace that will anchor you through every storm – even the storms of fear or guilt or anxiety. Not only that, your breaking trail will help encourage others to do the same, just as the faith of others strengthens your own. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. There may be struggle, even some opposition. But once you’ve had a glimpse of the Lord’s presence out there as you break trail, you won’t have it any other way.